I am writing this anxiety hacks for flying blog from the skies! After having a hellish run to make our connecting flight in Melbourne. There are children screaming and the sun is glaring into my eyes. However, I am not anywhere near as anxious as I have been on previous flights. So I thought I would share my tips for flying with anxiety. I still don’t love it and I definitely get restless, but I am way better than I used to be. I have also gotten better at not crushing Nathan’s hand on takeoff and landing.
My top tips work wonders for me and I hope they help you too, but anxiety is a funny thing in that it’s so different for all of us. So take what helps you and leave what doesn’t. Have a chat with the people close to you and with a physiologist or counsellor if you have more than just nerves around flying. My anxiety will always be here, but it is much easier to manage with the help of a psychologist and those I love.
Ok, that’s touchy feely enough for now. Let’s get into my top tips for dealing with stress and anxiety around flying!
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Make a plan
I have my flying plan down to a fine art now days. I have all my bits and bobs that I need easy access to in a little backpack that is small enough to fit under the seat. This way I can access it whenever I need to, even (especially) if the seatbelt sign is on. For someone who is anxious with a smooth flight, you can image how much worse I get when there is turbulence. There is no point having your anxiety helpers (such as medication, distractions and natural remedies) packed in a carry on that needs to be stowed in the overhead locker. When the seatbelt light is on, you can’t get to this and don’t have anything to help ease the stress.
One of my biggest anxiety worries on a plane is that I’ll have a panic attack during the flight, so I need to have ways of stopping this from happening (or dealing with it when it does happen) within easy reach. With all of this at my feet I can eat something to help ease the anxiety, I can take out my iPod and listen to my anxiety playlist for flying (it’s not what you’d expect, this is all loud distracting songs from my teenage years, think Blink 182 and Bullet For My Valentine.) I can grab my colouring book and pencils and I can easily reach any medication and anxiety lollies to help me out, too.
Knowing that I have all these ‘escape’ plans in place helps me feel much better pre-flight. I used to have sleepless nights and heightened anxiety a few days before flying. Now, because I’m super organised and have my plans in place, I’m not any worse the days before I get on a plane. It helps that I’ve had a few flights to get this down to what works for me, so give yourself time to find your groove when flying. Make sure you take a little bag along with your bigger carry on. Most airlines allow 1 personal item, like a laptop bag or small handbag/backpack, along with your normal sized carry on, so make the most of this.
Bring things to do
I bring so many things to do on a plane. Inevitably, I don’t end up doing half of them. The longer the flight, the more activities I’ll pack. When I caught the non-stop flight from Perth to London by myself, I had SOOOOO many things to do. In the end, all I did was read a chapter or two of my book, watch the plane movies and listen to Harry Potter as I tried to sleep on the plane. But the point is that if I needed a new distraction, I had it there. They are a bit of a safety net. To know that I have varying levels of brain tasks to do, they stop me fixating on weird sounds I swear I’ve never heard in a plane before, even though I know it’s definitely fine. Here is the list of what came with me on this long flight, which was my first time flying alone:
- A Y.A. book, Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. I’d read a couple chapters beforehand to make sure I was invested and thus it would be easy to slip into the book world when I needed it on the plane. My recommendation is to pick immersive books in a genre you love.
- A second book, Havenstar by Glenda Larke. That I had read before and loved. Glenda is a fave Australian author of mine. If you like fantasy, check her out!
- A third book, The Storm Crow by Kalyn Josephson. This time a new book, in case I somehow managed to finish both the above books in the over 17hr flight. I’m a very slow reader. There was no chance I would finish one, let along 3 books on the plane.
- A colouring book
- Colour pencils
- String to make friendship bracelets for myself and the friend I was visiting
- An eye mask
- Lavender moisturiser from Lush in a sample pot to help get to sleep
- Pawpaw cream for dry lips
- A change of pants so I could be comfy enough to sleep when I wanted to
- A huge scarf which doubled as a blanket
- A neck pillow which I held on to very tightly for takeoff and landing (I’m used to clenching Nathan’s hand (it was my dad’s hand when I was young) for takeoff and landing but didn’t have that option flying solo
- Chocolate
- Lollies
- A natural anxiety spray
- Natural anxiety chews
- Lollies to suck on to help pop my ears
- My water bottle which I filled up after going through customs so I wouldn’t have to ask for water and to not use plastic bottles
- My old iPod with a playlist queued and ready to go
- Multiple playlists downloaded on my Spotify on my phone as well
- My iPad with my own movies, tv shows and games
- Charging cables for my iPad, phone and iPod
- A battery pack in case there was no way to charge my stuff on the plane
- A cross word book
- Compression socks, as I was anxious about getting a DVT. I pretty much put these on as soon as I got on the plane so I could stop thinking about a DVT… I’m fit and healthy. This wasn’t going to be a risk, but anxiety doesn’t listen to logic.
- A mild sleeping pill, as recommended by my doctor, to help me get some sleep. If you are going to take medication, make sure to talk to your GP or physiologist first.
- Meditation prompts and my anxiety tricks like box breathing and the 5 senses grounding hack.
- A plan for what to say to a staff member if I was really struggling. I wish I had written this one down, but I didn’t end up needing it and can’t remember what it was now. Something along the lines of “I have anxiety and I’m struggling right now. Could you please help or let me know what this noise is that’s freaking me out?” The staff are there to help and you should let them know if you need it.
- Mints so I could have fresh breath when I landed
- A small bottle of hand sanitizer to keep the germs at bay. I use it before eating anything on the plane.
- Lastly, a big comfy jumper that I normally just wear at home
I didn’t eat any of the food I took with me, nor did I end up colouring or making friendship bracelets. However, it was helpful to know I had these options if I needed them. My bag was well organised, so I knew where everything was and I had an internal dialogue going the entire takeoff and landing, telling myself what was going on and how perfectly fine it all was. I think I did pretty well and didn’t need to delve down into my tricks too much.
Educate yourself
What really helps me when flying is knowing how everything works. I get the physics behind why the plane is staying up and I know what most of the noises involved in taking off and landing are. The main reason for this is as a kid, I flew with my dad who is interested in planes and had flown a lot himself. He would tell me what was going on to keep me calm. I know the feel of the wheels opening when you are about to land, the sound of the wing flaps being adjusted as well.
This stops me from freaking out about it all and also gives me something to focus on during the takeoff and landing, which I always find the most anxiety inducing part. I run through what steps need to happen and it does help to calm me down. Try it next time you’re in the air. Explain the noise and suddenly it’s not so scary because you know it is meant to be there.
Natural remedies that work for me
I never fly without my anxiety spray and chewy lollies. I use the Bach rescue remedy spray and the rescue remedy pastilles by Bach as well. I don’t think I’ve ever actually used the spray when flying, but the lollies have come out when we hit turbulence. I’m not sure about the scientific validity of these anxiety things. For all I know, it could just be a placebo effect.
Honestly, I don’t really care how they work. All I know is that they help me and that’s good enough for me! If you’re not convinced of the natural remedy stuff (and honestly I don’t really blame you, I get it) talk to your GP and or psychologist/counsellor and find what works for you. It’s a bit of trial and error which is annoying, but worth it when you hit on something that works for you!
Talk to someone
Either the person you’re flying with, or a complete stranger, or even a crew member. Just find someone to talk to and give you some distraction. Now days some planes even have internet and you can chat with your friends on the ground. This is a great option if you are flying solo and like me, get anxious talking to strangers. Get someone to give you some goss and really distract you from the plane. Or talk about what you’re feeling as well. It really does help!
Write about it!
If you have no one to talk to, then try writing it out! Writing this blog post is proving to be a distraction in itself. A slightly anxiety inducing distraction as I am focusing on my anxiety around flying a lot more than I normally would on a plane. But it’s also not as bad as I thought it would be and is giving me something to do. I find that writing about why I’m anxious and just getting the feelings out there helps a little and brings me to a place that I can focus more on grounding and moving on from living in my head.
So just write it out and then move on to your other distractions on this list. It doesn’t need to make sense either. Unless you’re trying to turn it into a blog post, no one is going to read it (and even then, who knows if someone will read it?! It might just be your supportive family members that do, Hello to our aunties and Grandparents!). You don’t even have to read it. Just get it out there and then move on to something else. It definitely helps me!
Pay attention to the view
As long as you’re not anxious about the whole height thing that comes with flying, pick a window seat and watch the ground below. It is pretty cool to gaze out at the clouds or the land below. Even waves on the ocean are fun to watch and you can spot boats as well! This is another way of distracting yourself from your thoughts and being present in the moment.
I’ve recently started taking photos and videos and really getting into documenting the flight. Sure, I never actually do anything with it, but it creates a distraction and gets me out of my head, which is my main problem with anxiety. If I keep myself from spiraling inward, then I’m good. On this flight I’ve taken lots of pics and videos with Piwi, our little plush kiwi toy that goes on adventures with us. It’s been a fun distraction, especially given that I’ve finished watching all the good movies already.
COVID related anxiety and flying
I thought I’d add this in as I get anxious about getting COVID on a plane now. When we first flew in 2022 to New Zealand, we opted to fly in premium economy as it meant we wouldn’t have to sit next to anyone and thus be able to mitigate the COVID risk a little. We since haven’t done this as it is expensive to do every time you fly. If you can pick flights with 2 seats instead of 3, go with those. Again, that only works if you’re flying with someone.
I get more anxious about it than Nathan, so when there isn’t the option of 2 seats together, he is the one that sits next to a stranger. And I sit on the window seat. If you can’t get a seat away from people, the next best thing is to wear a mask. We both wear N95 masks on a plane now, no matter where we are sitting.
We are amongst the few people who wear masks on a plane now days but it protects us and others so we will continue to do so. I also still bring along my hand sanitizer and now have some wipes for the chair, armrests, tray table and touch screen. I’m sure these get cleaned between flights, but it makes me feel so much better to do it myself. My mask only comes off to eat and I make sure to wait till the cabin crew has gone well past me before taking it off, too.
Fly with an airline you trust
This is slightly weird, but I am much more at ease on a plane if it’s with an airline I or my dad have previously flown with. I don’t do budget airlines as they stress me out more than I need to be. I’m aware that all the safety standards would still be the same, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.
My main airlines are Qantas, then Air New Zealand. Ive also flown with Cathay Pacific, Singapore airlines and Emirates. I always run a new airline by Dad to see what he says. If he hasn’t had a good experience with them, then I won’t fly with them either. Sounds silly writing it out, but it puts me at ease that bit more.
Weird quirks that help me
EVERYONE and I mean everyone that I’m flying with gets told they have to touch the outside of the plane when we are boarding. I don’t care how many things you have in your hand. You will touch the outside of the plane and I will see you do it before doing it myself as I get on. It’s superstitious, I know, but I will never not touch the plane before boarding.
The next little quirk I got from one of my work friends, back when I was working full time in Perth. He doesn’t like flying either and would tell himself that turbulence was just a pothole in the sky. Now, every time we experience turbulence, I still freak out, but I feel a little more at ease and remind myself that it’s just a pothole in the sky. I sometimes repeat this in my head to help calm down a bit too. It’s a little weird, but it honestly helps make it seem less scary!
I put this section in mainly to let you know if you have a superstition or silly thing to do like this around flying that it’s totally ok to have it! It does no harm to anyone and puts our minds at ease a bit more. So do the quirky things that help you and don’t feel weird about it!
These are my Top Anxiety Hacks for Flying
Hopefully, these tips and tricks help to ease some of your own anxiety or at the very least let you know you definitely aren’t the only one to be anxious about getting on a plane. I’ve done my fair share of flying and whilst I’m better than I used to be, I still don’t enjoy it. The travel is well worth it though, so I make my way through the flying bit to enjoy the travel afterwards!
If you have your own tips that are different to this, then let us all know. The more we can do to help each other out, the better. Even just admitting to yourself that you have anxiety around flying is a great step forward! As a person whose life is centered around travel, it does feel weird that I’m so not ok about getting on a plane or even a boat to travel.
Why would you centre your life around something that makes you so anxious you may ask?
Honestly, I asked myself that for a long time too. I told my counsellor that I couldn’t go travelling and live out this dream until I have completely gotten rid of my anxiety (oh past Tiff was so in denial about everything). You know what she said? Why don’t you be anxious about it and just do it, anyway? Honestly, it was one of the best pieces of life advice I have gotten and it took me a long time to appreciate it and even longer to actually put it into action. But I’ve now learnt if it means a lot to you, just do it!
There will always be a reason not to do it. BUT there is always a way to make things work for you, too. There have been so many obstacles that have stopped me from doing anything because it just seemed too hard to see a way through it. However, I have always found a way, sure it’s taken years to get there sometimes, and it did take years in the case of living my travel dreams and stepping onto the road less written. If I can do it anyone can!
It doesn’t need to be perfect to be worth it. Be anxious and do it anyway.
Keen for more inspo? Be sure to check out:
- Working Holiday Budget – One Year of New Zealand
- The BEST New Zealand Freedom Camping Spots
- Snorkelling Hacks for Beginners
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